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Hello, and welcome to the news

more stories today of drugs and booze,

if you're nnot already bored, financial issues

in the same week in, week out boring news

And now a message from the PM!

oh, the links broken, no worries- only talking crap again

and then theres the weather - you guessed it - rain!

and another celeb recalls their lifelong pain!

and now to my assistant for ...

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